toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
