Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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