Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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