I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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