You can't motorboat a personality
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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