I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm like, not good at living.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
