If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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