ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
