just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
So squirting runs in the family.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
