That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
