got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
