took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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