dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
