I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
