Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
