I just cut my nipple shaving
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
