This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
