I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
