he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
