i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Randomize
