im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize