I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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