had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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