You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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