Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
