I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
soo... how was my night?
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