the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
