I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
