I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
