But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I think my moral compass just broke
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
