Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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