So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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