k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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