My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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