The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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