Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
