But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
