My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
