How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
