so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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