So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
