Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
