i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
