Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
