Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
It's official drugs can't kill me
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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