Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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