what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
