So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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