I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
