Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
