So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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