Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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