On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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